The recent political environment has created opportunities for friction between friends and families. I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media about how to survive the holidays in a conflicted family. I’ve also heard stories and had my own experience of individuals unfriending friends and family members on Facebook because of “offensive” posts. And understand that by “offensive” I mean, anything you don’t agree with. All of this conflict has made me think about the need for forgiveness, even when there is not resolution of the issues that the conflict was about.

I think the biggest problem we have with forgiveness is that we think it should fix everything. “Forgive and forget,” we say. But that is not what forgiveness is about. In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray “Forgive us our sins (trespasses, debts) as we forgive those who sin (trespass) against us.” That’s a tricky one. I want God’s forgiveness, but I don’t necessarily want to forgive others. Sometimes it is just more satisfying (in a sick way, of course) to hold a grudge than to forgive someone for hurting us. But is that grudge-satisfaction of God? Or of a more destructive source?

I was reminded of the deep meaning of forgiveness when I went back to my 40th high school reunion in October. A woman I had know all of my schooling years and had always like, though we were not close friends, felt the need to confess something to me. First, you need to know that I was bullied when I was in 7th and 8th grade. A cheerleader decided I was the one to be attacked and led a cadre of girls to trip me in the hall, insult me to my face, pull things out of my hair, etc. The woman who approached me at the reunion was one of the cadre who once, according to her confession (and I believe her), had said something mean to me with the encouragement of the cheerleader. I didn’t remember her doing this and told her so. But the woman began to cry. She told me that she had felt so bad since then for having done that to me. She said she had carried it around for so long because she knew it was wrong and she just wanted — needed — to apologize.

I had not been prepared for this revelation, but I recognized the need. She needed forgiveness for a hurt she had carried around for 45 years–a hurt she put upon herself when she lashed out at me. In that sacred moment, I knew what needed to be done. I told her, “I forgive you.” It was a simple response to her very complicated need.

Forgiveness is not so much about being reconciled with someone else, as it is to be reconciled with yourself and God. Whether you have done something you regret or you have been hurt by someone else, forgiveness is the balm that heals our woundedness. Forgiveness is not easy, but in this conflicted time and every time, forgiveness is what we need to receive and to give in order to heal.

This time of year we tend to spend some time thinking about gratitude, what it means to be grateful, and what we are grateful for. (Pardon the dangling participle.)

I was taught manners as a child. Part of those manners was to say, “thank you” when someone did something for you. A stranger opening a door, a server filling up the water glass, or a cashier at the grocery store handing me my change. These were the type of interactions that required a “thank you” according to my parents. And so to this day, “thank you” comes out of my mouth frequently, especially to strangers. But is that gratitude or polite regard for others?

I have to confess that I am a pretty ungrateful person. I have always functioned with the attitude that if someone is supposed to do something, say take out the trash, that thanks is not required and should not be expected. In Luke 17, Jesus tells a strange parable about a slave who has worked in the fields all day and comes in to prepare dinner for the master. Verses 9-10 read, “Do you thank the slave for doing what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were ordered to do, say, ‘We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done!” So doing what you are supposed to do should not garner you special consideration or thanks.

And then I am humbled.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Giving thanks in all circumstances? Believe me there are circumstances that I am not grateful for! Maybe, just maybe, I am looking at this whole gratitude thing the wrong way.

Is my problem that I want to be thanked? And if I’m not thanked, I resent it? My lack of gratitude might stem from the reality of thankless jobs that fill life, that no one even takes notice of, that I’m busting my butt to get done and no one seems to care … unless it suddenly doesn’t happen? And is my problem that I am as guilty of not recognizing all that is done around me and for me?

That brings me back to the beginning. When I say “thank you” to someone who has done a small kindness (opening a door) or simply their job (the cashier at the grocery store handing me my change), am I in that moment recognizing one of those thankless jobs that are done around me and for me? And in that moment am I acknowledging the humanity of that person who is so frequently invisible?

More than all that, I think my biggest problem with gratitude is that it’s not about me being the recipient of gratitude. Instead, gratitude is an attitude toward all of life in the good times and in the bad. Gratitude is seeing the people and things around me that make my life full and sometimes simply easier.

Even after 58 years of life, I have so much to learn. I still think I am a pretty ungrateful person. But thanks be to God, I’m working on it.

Blessings,

Pastor Peg

I am frequently asked the question, “Do you have to go to church to be a Christian?” This is becoming more and more of an issue as the definition of what regular worship attendance has changed in the last decade or so. It used to be that regular worship attendance meant that a person attended worship every week. Recent research has shown that when individuals describe themselves as regular worship attenders, they mean they worship once a month. So the question rises again, do you have to go to church to be a Christian?

I can unequivocally say, that yes, you can be a Christian and not go to church. But here’s the rub. Christians don’t go to church (defined as a building used on Sunday mornings). Christians are the church in every aspect of their lives. A good question to consider then is “what is the church?”

The first word used to mean what we call the church was the Greek word ecclesia or ekklesia. This word comes from ancient Athens and was the name of the principle assembly for government. It literally means the called-out-assembly. The call would go through the city for all free male citizen to gather for debate and decision making. In the history of Christianity, ecclesia, the called-out-assembly, was the first word used to mean the church. Therefore, you cannot be the church alone, because the church is an assembly or better yet, a community.

The Christian community is the central unit of the church. I believe the problem has arisen when church became about obligation instead of community. We were created in the image of God who is community Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer — the Trinity. God’s call is the invitation to join the community of the Trinity. In the Trinity, all are co-equal members. In Christian community, all are co-equal members. To quote Paul, “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female for all are one in Christ Jesus.” We are called to be one, but not alone. Individuals and yet united. We are called to be community.

It is in community where we learn what it means to be a Christian. We learn to pray, to study, to serve, and to give. These are things that do not always come naturally to human beings. But more than anything else, it is in community that we learn to love. Not romantic love, but the love that takes a lifetime of practice to start to understand. This is a love that stands with those who are oppressed or suffering. Love that cares for those who cannot care for themselves. Love that stands the test of time.

So yes, you can be a Christian and not go to church, but you cannot be a Christian if you are not being the church.

Monday night was the first presidential debate of the 2016 election season. As reports about the event began, I heard about Clinton’s shimmies and Trump sniffs. These of course are the most important things about the debate. (Read lots of sarcasm here.) There have been accusations, rumors, and outright lies told and retold during this election cycle as we average Americans try to decide who we will vote for on election day. Many of us are confused or just disgusted. I, as a pastor, am concerned about how Christians are to respond to what appears to be politics as un-usual.

First Timothy has something to say to Christians as we participate in the election process. This pastoral letter is giving advise to the young pastor Timothy. It touches on a wide variety of topics, but what is of most significance to me is found in chapter 2. Verses 1-2 read, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all who are in high positions, so that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity.” I emphasis the “everyone” because it hits many of us where we live. We do not want to pray for (the well-being not the death of) everyone. We do not want to give thanks for everyone. Trump supporters do not want to give supplications on behalf of Clinton. And Clinton supporters do not want to make intercessions for Trump. And yet, if we are a Christian nation as so many people want to believe, that is exactly what we good Christians should be doing. And it doesn’t end with politics.

Throughout my life I have met individuals who really don’t like me. I mean REALLY don’t like me. And in return I tend not to like them either. Whatever may have happened between us or whatever we may have done that the other dislikes, the instruction remains the same–pray for everyone. I would add especially for the individuals you don’t like or who have hurt, offended, or betrayed you. This is a good practice for the people who follow the one who came into the world to forgive us all. But that is not the reason for the instructions found in 1 Timothy.

Why do we do this? Pray for everyone? Those in authority (or trying to become a person in authority)? “So that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity.” (v. 2) Praying for EVERYONE is a benefit to us. We are instructed to do this to make our lives better, more godly, more dignified.

I belong to Facebook and I love it. I enjoy connecting with friends, family, and brothers and sisters in Christ across the country. However, what I have read on Facebook about the presidential candidates in the last few months is anything but godly or dignified. And each side is just as bad. When I read the posts these days, I feel like I am in the middle of a gossip ring delighting in the very worst that can be said about individuals. What would happen to Facebook, our nation, and the election if all the people who claim to be Christians actually did what we read in 1 Timothy? Actually prayed for the welling-being of EVERYONE. I don’t know about you, but I sure would like to see what would happen!

My name is Peg Harvey-Marose. I am the pastor of Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church in Lewiston, Idaho. I have served here for over 12 years. For me the name Grace has great significance and it is one of the reasons I love serving God with the people of Grace.

One thing you should know about me is that I was not raised in the Lutheran church. I joined the Lutheran church for a very specific reason. Let me explain.

Where I grew up, I hand never heard of grace. I had been told on a regular basis that I was a sinner and was going to burn in the pits of hell. When I was in 5th grade, my best friend at the time had been told by her Sunday school teacher that anyone who was not a member of their church was going to hell and that she should not associate with people outside of the church. The next time we got together to play with some other friends, she informed us that she was not going to play with us any more because we were going to hell. I left that day having lost a friend and having a very uncomfortable feeling about the church.

I had always had a relationship with God. As a child, I had experienced God’s power and love in some very real ways. Being told by “the church” in whatever form that I was going to hell just didn’t fit with my experience.

When I went to college, a friend of mine introduced me to Lutheran Campus Ministry. The very first time I attended an event there, I knew I had found a home. At some point in that first year, I came across a pamphlet about Luther’s teaching on grace. Grace is unmerited love given to all by the God who created us and loves us unconditionally. I was shocked. I had never heard anything like this before. I turned to our campus minister and said, “I want some of this!” I have been a Lutheran ever since.

God’s grace is not just for the chosen few. God’s grace, God’s love, is for everyone. Whether you are in the church or outside the church, God loves you. Whether you had made good decisions or bad decisions in your life, God loves you. That’s what Jesus is all about. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-17

Remember, in all times and all places, God loves you!

Blessings,

Pastor Peg